29 Jun 2018

Carpe Diem - and all that jazz!

Today I turn 24. The big two-four.
In true millennial fashion it only seemed right to reflect on my past year and publish it for the whole world to see.
The past year of my life has been the hardest, darkest but yet most rewarding so far.
I spent my twenty-third birthday with a single ticket to Budapest to hide the massive anxieties I was feeling at home. I'd only been back in the UK for three months and let's face it, I've always been pretty good at running away. I began my 23rd year on this Earth as a complete shell of myself. Some days I didn't want to get out of bed. Other days I didn't want to wake up at all. All because of the pressure I felt trying to settle back into a place which didn't feel like home anymore. I was desperate. I wanted my friends to remember me again, what it was like to have me around and include me in their plans. I wanted my family to depend on me, and I wanted to be there for everyone. And so that's what I did. But the most vital thing of all, is to be there for yourself. You simply cannot live your life by being everyone's rock. You need your own rock sometimes, too.
So I made the decision to relocate my life, for what i'm certain will be the final time, and learned how to look after myself again. And I don't mean just doing the housework or cooking dinner. I mean really taking care of yourself. Eating better, exercising, socialising, practising that hobby you've always wanted to. And I did it. I really am content with how comfortable I am in my own skin again. 
Bloody hell, a year ago I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. And no one has gotten me to this stage other than me, myself and I. 
At 23 I learned that I can fall in love again and the idea doesn't completely repulse me anymore. I learned that things don't just happen by sitting around on your arse. You have to go out and do things. I became a believer in the idea that things always work out in the end. Honestly, it's true. I fell in love with the universe and solely trust that if you think positively and put the right amount of effort into something, you'll get exactly what you're owed. I realised which traits I need to suppress in certain environments and which I should encourage. I've also discovered that it's OK to make mistakes - f*ck it! That's how we learn these things. Not one person on this planet is perfect and the sooner we all come to terms with that, the happier life becomes.
So you might not be feeling it today, but tomorrow go out there and seize the day! Carpe diem and all that business.
Don't take life too seriously, you only get one shot at it!

Just Write About It.
Raven Twigg

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